Wistfulness
by Kurama no Miko2003
Summary: After everything is said and done, he wishes he could have told him just how he felt. Blind/Puzzleshipping ficlet.


Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, nor do I make any money from writing this piece of fanfiction.

Reader Warnings: Shounen-ai (Atem/Yami x Yuugi, Blind/Puzzleshipping)

AN: So, at first, I was going to write that one story that every Puzzleshipper has: Yami comes back from the afterlife. But then, as I was writing it, it became something else instead. I hope you all enjoy it anyway!

Wistfulness

He looked in the mirror, examined at his reflection, and sighed. The reflection looked foreign to him. This was not the image he was used to seeing. Sure, his regained memories had told him that this was how he was supposed to look, that this was how he was supposed to dress. But he missed the familiar weight of the Duel Disk on his left arm, the caress of the black leather choker around his neck, the firmness of those studded leather boots on his feet. He missed the way the jacket of his aibou's school uniform flared behind him the way the sleeves seemed to fit him just right, despite their physical differences, instead of this weighty deep blue cloak. He missed the way the familiar leather pants hugged his legs, accenting their lean build, instead of this tunic. But most of all, he missed his aibou's presence in his mind.

_Aibou . . . Yuugi . . . _

If anything, he felt like he was two separate people fused into one – on the one hand, he remembered his past, what he did as pharaoh, the sacrifice he had made. On the other, he remembered sharing a life, a body, a dream, with a lonely sixteen year old boy that looked so much like him that, save a few minor differences, could have passed for his twin. It was almost unfair how they had to go their separate ways; both thought this was what he had wanted. To go to the afterlife, to die. But, even now, after his reunion with those he lived and ruled with in the past, he could not, in all honesty, say that this was what he wanted.

_I'm sorry . . . _

How he had wanted to tell him his feelings, how much he wanted to stay forever and watch over him, how many times he prayed to the gods that he could! But it was not possible – it was simply a love between a spirit and a formerly normal teenage schoolboy. Throwing the gender issue aside, there was no way for them to truly touch each other as they would have wanted. To feel shared kisses in the real world instead of the deepest rooms of their souls. To feel the sun as it shone down upon them as they lived out their lives together. To feel the rain that would comfort them through life's hardships.

_I never told you . . ._

Even now, looking out the balcony of his palace in the afterlife, his heart felt empty. Laid out before him, was Egypt – _his_ Egypt – in her full glory, the Nile crisp and clear, the sun warm and welcoming, the skies bluer than ever; he should have been happy. It was, simply put, a desert paradise. And yet, if he were to be honest with himself, he was lonely. He often found himself asking, wondering what sort of man Yuugi would grow to be, what sort of duels he would take part in, what sort of life he would lead. He wondered, late at night, in his heart of hearts, what life would have been like if he had stayed. If, instead of passing through that gate, he asked the gods for a second chance at life instead.

_Just how much . . ._

Would they have gone to school together? Would they enter in dueling tournaments against each other? Would they have gone on dates during the weekends, hitting up arcades and movies? He wanted to know, so badly, what could have been. In his dreams, they would stay up late watching the stars, chatting the hours away as the constellations shone and faded into the early dawn, or they would play all sorts of games together, laughter filling the room. And then, when it finally came time to sleep, he would hold his aibou close, spooning the smaller boy until their dreams swept them off onto other adventures together so they could laugh about them the following morning.

_I love you._

But he had crossed over. There was no way for him to go back. And the only thing he could negotiate with the gods, was a guarantee that, when the time came, he would be able to greet Yuugi. But until then, he had to wait.

And cherish the memories he had of them.

Together.

~End~

AN: Please leave me a review after reading!


End file.
